No one gets married believing that their marriage will end in divorce.
Unfortunately, divorce is a reality. In fact, approximately 40% of first-time marriages will end in divorce.
As a divorce attorney, I have noticed there are red flags indicating that a relationship may be headed for divorce.
You start to feel self-doubt
When your partner no longer prioritizes you—or worse, devalues you—self-doubt can start to creep in.
When your relationship starts negatively affecting your self-worth, maybe it's time to call it quits.
You don't listen to each other
When neither of you is taking time to really hear what the other is expressing, you are demonstrating that your partner's thoughts and feelings do not matter to you.
Signs of contempt start to show
Even though these signs might not mean the marriage is over yet, contempt is toxic to a marriage because it conveys disgust and superiority on such a deep level.
Contempt is fueled by simmering negative thoughts about one's spouse, and it arises in the form of an attack on someone's sense of self.
You're no longer a team
In a healthy marriage, partners work as a team on everything from parenting to running the household to supporting each other's personal ambitions.
If you've both started moving in completely separate orbits, or if you're not working together on day-to-day issues, it's a sign of serious trouble.
You've had a decrease in frequency and quality of intimacy
There is a definite lack of interest in sex and you don't communicate about it and don't do anything about it.
One spouse refuses to try
A marriage can be in trouble unless both spouses commit to solving the issue.
If it's been a year with no progress on a number of important issues, then it may be time to call it quits.
There's no compromising in terms of wants and needs
A major part of marriage involves trying to fulfill your partner's needs while also making sure your own needs are met.
If your partner continually refuses to listen to what you need (time, affection, sex, help with children) or refuses to share his own needs, you're not in a good place.
There is a lack of respect in the relationship
One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is mutual respect.
When respect is gone and one of you consistently feels dismissed and rejected, you're not in a healthy relationship.
Marriages that reach such a place are toxic.
If any of these signs resonate with you, then it may be time to discuss your options with an attorney.
However, not all attorneys can deliver a favorable resolution to your case.
We will discuss looking for a divorce attorney and questions you need to ask in our next article.